Ugh.

Dieting is so hard.

Every morning I wake up and tell myself it's a new day just to be sitting with a gallon of ice cream that afternoon.

But food is so good. I mean onion rings, grilled cheese, french fries, sweets, soda. I mean yum!

But I have to start somewhere so today is the day. Today is the day to start taking my life back by putting the ice cream down.

I am such a sweet eater that I will allow myself some sweets throughout the day. Okay. One sweet a day. Seriously. One sweet a day. But what I like about that is that I will really cherish that one moment when I am eating that sweet whatever it might be that day. It will give me something to look forward to and I won't feel guilty because I'm on my diet and sticking to my plan.

This is what I did to lose my first thirty pounds and it will be what I do to lose another thirty. And then I will be at my goal weight.

I keep telling myself that another thirty won't be that hard to do as long as I stay focused and just realize why I need to do this.

For my health and for Ryan. I already see my eating habits in him. He doesn't eat sweets but he is such a picky eater. He tells me he doesn't like everything before he has even tried it. The child could live on hot dogs and cheetos.

I also really need to start exercising again. I stay pretty busy between Ryan and the dogs but I could do more. So I am charging my fitbit again as we speak and am going to make my goal of 10,000 steps every singe day. It's really not hard especially if you just march in place while watching your favorite show which is what I do a lot of.

And I think it helps because instead of eating because I am bored I am walking and doing something for my health.

And yes. This is my millionth time to restart my diet. But I think most dieters go through this. They have their ups and downs but the focus is trying to have more ups than downs.

So with my chin up (thankfully I still only have one) I am going to the park with Ryan and starting on my 10,000 steps for the day.

The Y

Last year I was doing so great with my diet and workout. I was going to the Y everyday, running in the afternoon, eating right, and just was in the groove.

I lost thirty pounds which was really exciting. It was nice to be able to just pull jeans on instead of trying to squeeze into them.

But then so many things started happening around us. When I get stressed I become a hermit. So I stopped going to the Y and eventually stopped working out. Losing weight was put on the back burner and I just wasn't as passionate about it with all the stress I was dealing with.

We decided to put a hold on our membership. Because why pay for it when we aren't using it. I vowed to start working out again at the house but that just didn't happen. To be honest it's just easier to sit on the couch with the promise to "start tomorrow" than it is to get up and workout.

So now that things are settled down we decided that it's time to get back to the Y. I just love it and it helps keep me motivated to be doing the things I should be doing.

After working out for forty five minutes on the running machine I don't want to come home and ruin it with a bowl of ice cream. It makes me want to do better especially on the days that I don't want to even be there. It's a good feeling when you go to bed at night knowing that you went to work out and you ate right that day when your mind is telling you just to take that day off.

Plus, Ryan loves it. He loves going to the kid's area and just playing for a couple hours. And during weeks like this when it's Spring Break it gives me a little bit of a break for the day. There are some days when I would just take my bible study up there and did that while he was playing.

So now that I am back at it it is time to start focusing again. Time to lose the last thirty pounds that I have been wanting to lose for months now. I am excited to be going back to the Y but not really excited about the workout part of it. I just hope that once I am there and back at it I will gain my passion back for a healthier life. To be determined to lose this thirty pounds and just be a good example to Ryan. I want him to see his mom taking care of herself and caring what she looks like.

I need to figure out my schedule again. When I lost the first thirty pounds I had a working out and eating schedule. I would have a cheat day once every two weeks and other than that I would stick to MyFitnessPal.

Today I am going to go work out but hubby and I are having a date night do diet doesn't start till tomorrow.

But I will start tomorrow.